Hello.

Hello BK,

I’m terribly sorry.  Here you are only the size of a lemon and I already feel like you are being treated as the second child. We have known about you for ten weeks already.  It seems like yesterday and yet felt like a lifetime ago. At this point, I had probably already wrote your sister a few notes – I’m sorry.  I don’t love you the same or think about you less, I just don’t have the time to document my feelings.

When we found out about you, we were ecstatic but I was guarded.  This wasn’t my first rodeo and I felt as though you could not have come this easy – something was going to go wrong.  It was a long first trimester but, all along the way, you reminded me that everything was okay.  Granted your reassurance was in the form of nausea and extreme food aversions but I guess I’ll take it. At each ultrasound, I expected bad news and it didn’t come. I still hold my breath and cross my toes, little guy, there is a road ahead of us.

So here we are. Second trimester already.  I feel excited, nervous, anxious. Your daddy and I are so excited to meet you.  Your sister doesn’t really understand the concept of you but, man, she LOVES babies. Get ready to be smothered in her love and literally smothered in her sloppy toddler kisses.

I not quite sure how you will fit into our family yet. It is hard to comprehend how I will find the time and energy to spread myself between the two of you.  I think it will just happen – it will just work but the anxiety is still real.

So keep growing little guy and we will figure it out together. With your daddy and sister’s help, I think we will be okay.  It will probably be chaotic and it definitely won’t be pretty but we got this.

You are already so loved.

Momma

Can’t Help Falling In Love With You

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