“It takes a village to raise a child.” – a proverb I completely agree with and one Auntie A references frequently.
One of the most important decisions we will make as parents is to decide who to include in our “village”. They will be the people who influence your life the most and help to shape who you become as a person. People who help you grow up to become a strong, independent, and well-rounded individual. These people are very important.
This village will also be the support system that guides us in our journey to become parents. To me, the most important part of this job is to support the decision we make. I don’t claim to know it all nor do I think I ever will. But having the support of our village will get us through the tough decisions and gently direct us when we ultimately make the wrong one (Sorry kid, but as your Grandpa K says “You are the oldest so you were the experiment. We learned a little more with each of you.”).
Lately, the term “Mommy Wars” has been brought to my attention. I find it disheartening that anyone feels their decisions are judged, especially mothers. I believe we all make decisions with the best intentions for our children – some go the “granola” route, others the convenience, and some somewhere in the middle – but the destination is the same. Well-adjusted and happy children is the end-all-be-all. More importantly, I completely breaks my heart that mothers allow their decisions to be judged. If you truly feel you made the best decision possible and it worked out best for your child, why would any mother feel guilty about a decision they made? And why would those same mothers make others feel guilty for making different decisions?
Baby S isn’t even here yet and we have been met with resistance to the decisions we are making. But it makes it easier for me to move forward knowing that I believe I am making the right decisions and we will slowly build up a village of people who support those decisions – regardless of their opinions and personal beliefs. Our village will support us because they support our right to parent, to make decisions, and to grow as a family.
Our little Hammie will be here so soon. In the meantime, I will continue to digest and sift through the piles of advice, stacks of books, and plethora of blogs to learn as much as possible from other who already know. But in the end, I will follow my heart because I believe instinct will become the best guide.