We got to see you again today. You actually wiggled around for us and we got to spend a few precious moments watching you dance. It is amazing how much you have grown in the past almost three weeks. It was easy to make out your tiny limbs and strong heart beat.
The crazy part is that I didn’t want to see you. I laid in bed that morning sobbing- begging your daddy to not make me go to the appointment – knowing that we would anyway. I was afraid you hadn’t kept your part of the agreement. I was terrified that you had left me and I knew I wasn’t capable of dealing with that loss. My broken soul couldn’t handle the pain of saying good bye to you so I wanted to stay in bed – to hold on to you for one more day or even hour.
But there you were – all 21 millimeters of you. Moving around with excitement. It was, as if, you were trying to say ‘I told you so’. You kept your part of the bargain. You had grown and your little heart continued to beat in a soothing rhythm.
Now I worry about keeping you in there long enough. I will sit with my legs crossed for the next 30 weeks, if necessary. But ultimately, I promised your daddy one thing: To keep you warm. And I will do that will all my heart until the day you decide to meet us.
Ps- Your daddy says good night to you every night before we go to sleep. When you are a teenager and decide it isn’t cool to hug in public, remember he has been kissing you good night since the day you were a fuzz.